...and I have this hangnail
Last night, as I confidently navigated my way through the darkened room, I accidentally woke my dog. As I was tripping over his big furry ass laying right in the doorway, I broke my fall by impaling my hand on a nail jutting out from the wall. Being the refined and relaxed sort of person that I am, I gently nudged him with my foot, calmly suggesting that he should move out of the way when I am approaching. Who am I kidding, I'm lucky I don't have a limp. He just layed there, heavy lidded and disinterested, while offering a contemptuously disdainful gaze in my direction.
After my obsessive checking-of-the-paper ritual, I eyed my cache of peesticks, wistful in the maybe that I've come to know and love. My boobs are a little tender, sure, but I sleep on my stomach, mashing them into submission. It's the nipple sensitivity that has me perplexed, particularly the right one that seems to be stuck on high beam. Then there's the odd ache that has settled into my back, just at the lower edge of my ribs at kidney level. But, I think to myself, I shouldn't have a kidney infection, I have absolutely no UTI symptoms, and I've been drinking extra water. Hence the need to pee all damn day, another question mark to punctuate this finely tuned machine. Ok, so that metaphor doesn't exactly flow. Get it? Flow? I crack myself up.
Of course, we know what this means. Nothing, nada, zip, squat, zilch. The thing is, we haven't been trying, but haven't been preventing, either. Two can play this game. I'll just go back to my blissful ambivalence, and see if lightening strikes. Again. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
My cycles since Nick was delivered in February have been hellish, but punctual. Every 27 days, I could count on the joyous menstrual holiday to arrive, and we'd celebrate it for thirteen or fourteen days on end. What dedication! This two-weeks on, two weeks off festivity was fun, but I needed some change. In May, I decided to mix things up a bit. I observed the mandatory two-week menses, but this time, I only took ONE week off! That's right, on cd21 I came back for more! A day or two of intense partying was all I needed. As luck would have it, I was going in for some regularly scheduled maintenance, and mentioned this to Dr. Wonderful. Could it be implantation bleeding? Um, probably not. Could it be my cycles are just fucked up? Um, let's just wait and see. Wait for... (fill in the blank). (?)
We could wait to see if I start again, sure, that's a given. But, what of the long episodes of bleeding? What about the discomfort, the chicken livers, the landfill waste I am contributing to? What about trying to plan anything around this curse? Call me back in July or August, maybe we could check for polyps. You betcha.
So... I'm either on cd32, or cd12, or pregnant, or just fubar.
Did I mention I have gas?
After my obsessive checking-of-the-paper ritual, I eyed my cache of peesticks, wistful in the maybe that I've come to know and love. My boobs are a little tender, sure, but I sleep on my stomach, mashing them into submission. It's the nipple sensitivity that has me perplexed, particularly the right one that seems to be stuck on high beam. Then there's the odd ache that has settled into my back, just at the lower edge of my ribs at kidney level. But, I think to myself, I shouldn't have a kidney infection, I have absolutely no UTI symptoms, and I've been drinking extra water. Hence the need to pee all damn day, another question mark to punctuate this finely tuned machine. Ok, so that metaphor doesn't exactly flow. Get it? Flow? I crack myself up.
Of course, we know what this means. Nothing, nada, zip, squat, zilch. The thing is, we haven't been trying, but haven't been preventing, either. Two can play this game. I'll just go back to my blissful ambivalence, and see if lightening strikes. Again. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
My cycles since Nick was delivered in February have been hellish, but punctual. Every 27 days, I could count on the joyous menstrual holiday to arrive, and we'd celebrate it for thirteen or fourteen days on end. What dedication! This two-weeks on, two weeks off festivity was fun, but I needed some change. In May, I decided to mix things up a bit. I observed the mandatory two-week menses, but this time, I only took ONE week off! That's right, on cd21 I came back for more! A day or two of intense partying was all I needed. As luck would have it, I was going in for some regularly scheduled maintenance, and mentioned this to Dr. Wonderful. Could it be implantation bleeding? Um, probably not. Could it be my cycles are just fucked up? Um, let's just wait and see. Wait for... (fill in the blank). (?)
We could wait to see if I start again, sure, that's a given. But, what of the long episodes of bleeding? What about the discomfort, the chicken livers, the landfill waste I am contributing to? What about trying to plan anything around this curse? Call me back in July or August, maybe we could check for polyps. You betcha.
So... I'm either on cd32, or cd12, or pregnant, or just fubar.
Did I mention I have gas?
posted by Julie at 4:39 PM
3 Comments:
Oh, now you're going to make us wait for an answer! Damn. Okay...I'll just have to check your blog obsessively.
I just discovered your blog...we are Bleeding Sisters. I'm sure I'm way older than you and your problem isn't the same as mine, just wanted to say I hear ya. I should have bought stock in OB. I also wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss.
So what's going on? I keep checking for news!!!!!
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