Saturday, April 29, 2006


So, I'm sitting here playing my millionth game of solitaire when "DING DONG!" the doorbell rings; dogs commence their frantic warning yaps; and girls begin giggling on the sidewalk.
"Is The Boy home?"
Sweetheart, aren't you cold in that tight little tank top with your boobies half hanging out?
Her friend, Tramp #2, is wearing a tasteful little cardigan and her hair and makeup are perfect. For whoring, perhaps, but let's not judge.
Why, yes he is. As a matter of fact he's in the shower, could you wait a moment, he'll be down in a bit.
I wondered why The Boy decided to take a shower at 8pm... after arguing with us about borrowing the car... and needing gas money... and... uh... damn it, I really should listen in on his phone calls.
I had intended to do a post about my weirdness-es, thanks to a friendly little tag from Kellie; however, at this time, I wish to focus on The Boy's issues instead. :-)
No - you may not take your car out, your headlight needs replaced.
No- you may not borrow dad's truck, he needs to go to his dart league.
No - you may not borrow my car either.
What do you mean you already made plans? You expect us to give you money for gas, keys to our car, and allow you to go to a DRIVE-IN? heh heh NO.
No - you can not go "pick them up, drive around, and take them back home".
By the way, who are they?
Oooohh, one of them is for your friend...
Whom they've never met...
The one who marinates in the rancid manly scented cologne-type stuff?
This goes on for about 30 minutes until he storms off, for bed I assumed. His TV is on, he is on the phone, I'm watching the Buccos, problem solved. There is much slamming of doors until he retires to the shower, and dad and I roll our eyes at each other.
And Then...
Rewind to the beginning of this saga.
Guess he figures, if he can't go to them, he'll have them sent here. Sort of like delivery, without the tip. As I open the door, a car drives away. Leaving the two lovely ladies standing on my stoop.
Whoa, wait a minute... was that your ride?
Are they going to wait to see if you're safe?
Was that one of your parents?
Will they be back?
The Boy said he could take us home.
Well, who was that? Can you get them back?
My cousin's boyfriend's brother, or something. He brought us from downtown.
What were you doing downtown?
Waiting for The Boy. My mom dropped us off at the Y, and we caught a ride over here, isn't The Boy ready?
Ready for WHAT?
Now I'm stuck here, talking to these two delicate little women, while you-know-who is now in more trouble than ever, and I'm trying to figure out who these girls are, where do they live, how does he know them, why aren't their parents a little more careful, and what the hell am I supposed to do???
I seat them comfortably in the "sun room" - (that's what I like to call the piles-of-shoes-and-coats-and-dog-paraphernalia-and-various-other-assorted-crap storage room that leads in directly from outside); {hey, it has a couch}.
I stomp upstairs and tear into The Boy.
See, he's a little smarter than he looks.
By having them delivered over here, he then "gets to take them back home", and thus, gets.his.way.
BigBadDad takes them home.
Where there are no parents or any other adult present.
How do we know that is where they really live? We don't.
Does Josh know where they live? Nope. Why?
He met them at WalMart.
And I'm starting to feel just a little more white trash than I find acceptable.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So, there are many issues at play here.
And a weekend full of lectures.

You simply DO NOT just give our address out to people you barely know - ESPECIALLY without obtaining permission from your parents, first.
When we tell you that you MAY NOT go somewhere, it is NOT acceptable to bring the party here, as an alternative.
We would PREFER that you DO NOT pick up strange girls at discount stores, thank you very much.
If you HAVE TO meet some chick that may be the love of your life, FIND OUT some background information on her FIRST, before having her delivered to our home.
DO NOT take candy from strangers.
DO NOT talk to strange women.
And for gosh sakes, DO NOT expect me to entertain your bubble-head blondie(s). I can't take the giggling.
And am I going to have to have "the talk" again?
Oh Mom! It's not LIKE that, jeez!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Drumroll please..........

::happy dance::
It will be nearly a month before I actually "start", but in the meantime I have an employee physical, intensive orientation, computer training, paper work, red tape, debriefing, tar and feathering, etc. to ease me through the transition. Bring.It.On.
This has been such a good week for me, I can hardly wait to see what next week has planned.
Thank you for all your well-wishes.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

A little of this, a little of that

From the mailbag:
Is Fishmas over? Can we take down the decorations? hehehe
Yes, gentle reader, you may. If you believe in Santa Claus and the magic of the season, then you must also trust in the illusion of Futility Friend, who says I have ovulated.
The trout have been caught, battered and fried, and consumed with tenative gusto (mercury and PCBs be damned).
According to FF, based solely on my temps, I am 6dpo. Being on CD28, I of course am fighting the urge to test, even though they tell me to wait 10.more.days.
I never saw even the faintest hint of a second line on the OPKs.
The analyzer rates our efforts as "good", whereas we might go so far as to say "spectacular".
Just for shits and giggles I phoned in to Dr. Wonderful's nurses' voicemail line to inquire about the safety of a cortisone injection if 1) I might be pregnant or 2) I start my next round of Clomid. I have a raging case of lateral epicondylitis that needs a'fixin'. A what? Tennis elbow. Old raquetball injury. hahaha
Depo-Medrol is a category "C" drug, which is contraindicated in the first trimester.
OK. And what about its' effects on Clomid?
I don't know.
Could you ASK?
We recommend you don't undergo any treatments involving drugs or radiation while trying to conceive.
Who said anything about radiation?
Do you really need this form of therapy?
I really could use some psychotherapy, thanks for asking, but yes, I do need the use of my left arm on occasion.
Physical and occupational therapy is an acceptable alternative. It has proven to be the safest form of treatment.
Yes, I have used this in the past. I have pages of exercises to use, and I am well versed on the application of ice, heat, various braces, and the consumption of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications to ease my discomfort.
You should not employ the use of NSAIDS while trying to conceive, or while pregnant.
No kidding. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that I am NOT pregnant. My scheduled appointment for said cortisone injection directly into my aching elbow is a mere 6 days away. Even if I were to start my period this very moment, the Clomid will have been just begun and my body not yet willing to release an egg by the time the shot will be delivered. Will cortisone affect the efficacy of Clomid, or cause my ovaries to burst into tears?
I'll have to ask. But really, if you can put off receiving this injection, it would be best. After all, you do have two arms. That's why God equipped us with appendages in matching pairs.
Last evening, when I arrived home at 7pm, there was a call on the answering machine from the HR dept. of the place I had most my recent interview. Could the hubster have called me earlier in the day to let me know? Yes. Why didn't he? He didn't know what it was about, and he didn't want to bug me. This is The.Job. that had me all in a twist last week. They'd like me to call them back, please. Could I sleep last night? Hardly. Did I wake up at 5am this morning. Sure did. Do they open at 8, 8:30, or 9am? What if they don't want me? What if they do?
As I near the due date of the little baby girl I should be carrying, I want to share a couple of items that have helped to soothe the anguish of the past year.
Catherine made this beautiful bracelet for me, including crystals in the birthstone colors for Nicholas (Amethyst) and my other two miscarriages that both occured in November (Topaz). Note the cute little baby feet. I have worn this on a number of occasions, and have received an inquiry or two. It is just beautiful.

Jill sent me this lovely little Angel Pin (I apologize I can't take a clear pic of it no matter what). The accompanying card has a beautiful verse on it that I find so very comforting. This, too, I have worn many a time, and always think of my little angels sitting on my shoulders as I go about my day.

I should have acknowledged these thoughtful gifts months ago, so now that I have my camera/software/computer up and running, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank my sweet friends for their kindness. Love you.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Attack of the ARCW

Ok, feeling much better today. Yesterday's foul mood is flushed away and my world is bright, warm, and sunny. Ahhhhh...
I am an anal retentive crabby woman, and for that, I apologize.
I can only assume that my nerves were playing havoc on me without my prior knowledge or permission. Now I am back to my usual apathy and laissez-faire attitude.
In actuality, I don't feel the interview went all that poorly, I just have an underlying vein of pessimism. If I don't expect much, then I won't be as disappointed.
Thanks for playing along. :-)
CD20, still no second line on the OPKs, still feeling discomfort around my left ovary and ute.
And The Boy got his very first speeding ticket. Dad was mad. So sad, too bad.
I have half of a dark chocolate covered coconut egg left to enjoy, and damn it, that's what I'm going to do. Life is good.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Confidence, Schmonfidence

I didn't really need this right now. Here I am thinking quietly to myself, do I really need to be "planning" for pregnancy when I might be starting a new job?, when prior to the interview my uterus began cramping in such a way that I inwardly screamed do I really need to be expecting my period in the middle of this meeting?
I can't say whether or not the interview went perfectly for me, any more than I can predict if I might start bleeding at any moment. What I can confirm, is that both situations made me feel uncomfortable and unprepared, and my day is starting to suck big balls.
As I strap in my insurance padding, I'm reviewing all those damn questions and what I "should have" answered, had my brain been functioning at full throttle.
I think I might have had better luck with a Rorschach test.
Two and a half hours of :
Tell me about a time when you feel you really made a difference.
And how did that make you feel?
Did you encounter any obstacles?
How did you handle that situation?
Where do you see yourself a year from now?
Five, ten, twenty years?
Do you have any plans for continuing education?
How would you rate your supervisory skills? Organization? Confidence under pressure?
Ummmm... uh.. well... I....
I drew a blank. Because that's what I do.
Look buddy. Give me the fucking job, and I promise I'll show up for every scheduled shift, m'kay?
So help me, if I start spotting today I'm going to really be pissed.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

...and then...

In preparation for my Very Important Interview, I've been doing a little personal maintenance this weekend... shaving, exfoliating, depilatoriating (?!), tweezing, moisturizing... OK so I'm very hairy with crusty skin. I have PCOS, you get used to it. I even glazed my lovely mane to disguise the temple grays and give my color a shiny, enriching boost. I figure, a little pampering never hurt anyone - if I feel all polished and perfect, then that just might be the impression I give, yes?
I did up a nifty manicure with polish that matched My Interview Outfit. Funny how when clothes hang in the closet for a while they shrink. WTF. I look like a stuffed sausage done up in gift wrap with very ugly shoes but kickin' hair.
In anticipation of landing this amazing job, I went ahead and did some shopping several days ago. That's just how confident I am. The underlying reason for this compulsive binge was that I would be wearing a different style of apparel in this position, and I would most definitely be needing a few things. Why not be prepared? At least that's what I tell myself. Excuses, excuses.
Turns out, though, that it might have been an omen or something equally rational, because - if my packages arrive tomorrow (oh pleasepleaseplease), I will have something to wear to this freakin' interview!
If not, I'll show up looking fabulous in frumpy clothes, but I'll manage to pull it off because I'm just so amazing and all.
Man, I can sure lay on the shit thick, can't I?
Ok, on to the other stuff.
CD 17, still no action on the OPKs. Here's a quick question for you gals... ever have a numb or tingly sensation in the coot that signaled either ovulation or an oncoming menses? I'm not talking the Church Lady's suggestion of engorged and tingly naughty bits, either, although I do feel like doing that dance when I say it. LOL
On the vehicle subject, by some miracle the light disappeared while en route to the garage. Whodathunkit. They "reset the computer" for me, anyway. Such friendly folks.
Had a weird dream last night. I was allowed to get a cat or have a baby - but not both. It was my choice, and something I would have to live with, no changing my mind or trying to get my way and do both. I was honestly considering a kitten because that was the "sure thing".
The amorous hubby has taken a turn for the worse and become a cranky sick child. I think purging his system of bad humours would be beneficial to us all. I'll try to talk him into giving it a whirl.
Thank you for all the good luck wishes. I'll be sure to keep you informed of every little detail you could possibly care for, and then some. :-D

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The hubster caught this whopper early this morning.
Measures 20" which is fairly decent for a rainbow in these parts. Biggest one we've ever caught, anyway. I'm so proud of him. ::sniff::
We're having it mounted (which costs a whole lot more than I had assumed).

This calls for a celebration. *wink*

Ho ho ho (har har har)

On the first day of Fishmas, my true love gave to me....
(special thanks to Kellie for that one)

Last evening:
Sure, honey. Just let me pee on this stick and I'll be right with you.
This morning:
Yes, dear. Let me finish taking my temperature, and, uh... okay, hang on a minute...

By tomorrow I'll be bartering for services.

CD 16, all negative OPKs so far (and that's a good thing from a timing standpoint). My left ovary is not feeling all that spiffy. There's 'something' going on in there, but I rather doubt it will be popping out an egg.

In other tantalizing developments:
My brand new car's engine light began glaring at me yesterday morning. The service department scoffed at my suggestion that it needs to be seen. There's not going to be anything wrong, it's brand new! Bite me; I'll be in at 8.
I have been recruited. Head hunted. No, not really, but I do have a Very Important Interview on Tuesday, for which I am totally stoked. Dude.
I'm actually off this weekend, yay! If you need me, I'll be at the lake.

Have a nice weekend, and Happy Spring.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

One woman's trash ...

... is another woman's treasure.

They found a baby in a bag yesterday. Near my neighborhood. I'm am so very pissed.
One day old, they think, and the autopsy confirms "it" was alive for a short while.
No outward trauma was detected.
The newborn was found in the basement of a couple to whom the mother is related, but she does not reside at the residence. Another location is being investigated as the possible birth site. No other details are being disclosed at this time.

I can assume then, that they know who the cow was that did this horrible thing. They know that the bitch delivered a live baby, placed it in a garbage bag, and took her precious gift to another persons' home to be disposed of. Did she walk it over there? Put it on the front seat of her car, or in the trunk? Give it to someone else to toss away? How did she sneak it into her relatives' home? Why not just toss it in a rubbish pile somewhere else?

And why the fuck does she get to be pregnant and deliver a full-term live baby in the first place?

Monday, April 10, 2006


Who wants to read all about cervical mucous and snatchulence?
Me neither.
CD 11.
Two negative OPKs, of which I am thrilled.
I only started testing so early to give me something to do.
Picked up my new glasses today, so I can almost maybe sort of see the teensiest faint shadow of a line next to the control.
F -minus- 4 and counting.
Deck the halls with used-up pee sticks...
Falalala la la lala la.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Laughter is the best medicine

So, today being CD 10, I've decided to begin the OPKs, just, well, I don't know why. It would be more likely for me to ovulate late (if at all), and the Easter Bunny won't be hopping home for another 5 days, but I'll be dammed if I miss the opportunity to see that darkening line slide on past my window of opportunity. I have two fist-fulls of test strips just begging to be peed on. Why disappoint? At the very least, by the end of this experiment,I should be able to decipher if I did ovulate or not, so we can be all gung-ho next cycle. Or whatever. I"ll be sure to keep you updated. heh.
In other news, I was trolling around more useless information on various IF sites, when I ran across a very enthusiastic RE's clinic page. It states repeatedly how aggressive he is, and at one point admits that he will work hard and fast at getting you pregnant.
Where do I sign up for that kind of service??
The funniest part by far, I thought, was this nifty little pointer highlighting some links one might wish to view.

I need to change doctors.

*updated to add: that finger wiggles, by the way, though it doesn't do that here. It's really most amusing. Sorry.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Ack! Where'd that come from!?

I've mulled around the occasional sad thought recently, that I should be hugely pregnant and ready to give birth to a daughter sometime soon.
While entering my useless information onto FutilityFriend today, and gazing at their "enhanced" options for analyzing various aspects of my cooter functions, I accidentally hit a button that whisked me straight to pregnancy tracker. And lo, it 'twas bestowed on her that today is none other than the day where, had her dead fetus lived, would have been the same age that Nicholas was when he was born. Dead.
Happy 34w6d, my babies. Love, Mom.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Out of fresh ideas

CD 7
3rd dose of the O-bomb
New crate of testing strips arrived today
Commencing countdown sequence to POAS...

And, thanks to Jill, I don't have to think up a post. This is too easy. :-D

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.

You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.

Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.

Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).

Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.

And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.

You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.

Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.

Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

Saturday, April 01, 2006


Ann over at Spiraling into control posted a link to a nifty analysis tool. It's fun! It's informative! Give it a whirl.
Here's my psychobabble:

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

You like the better things in life. You are sensuous and emotional. You are a follower of the Arts and you seek an environment that will give you the fulfillment to the senses that you need.

You are trying to break away from the mundane existence that you have been experiencing of late. You have many high hopes and ideals but you are concerned whether circumstances will allow you to realize these ambitions. You want to spread your wings - to broaden your fields of activities - but you are concerned that your dreams are just that - 'dreams' which are not realistic. It concerns you that you are not thinking clearly at this time - what you need is to get away from it all, to give you time to think. A short vacation could well restore your confidence.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realize that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalize but you need to realize a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

Arrogant? Humph.