Driving me crazy
Well, folks, I did it. I let the little buttmunch get his permit. For those of you having the misfortune of reading my blog from the not-so-distant past, you will recall the little buttmunch is my hulking, sulking, burly, surly, hairy, smelly teenage son. "The Boy", who is now a whopping 16.5 years old, and almost bigger than dad.
Soooo... he is now legal to drive with my accompaniment. What the fuck did I agree to?
I've let him drive now and then (off the record) just for practice. And he's done well. His father has taken him out, his uncle and grandpa have let him drive, he's been doing it for years.
Just not in oncoming traffic. Lest the grammar police attempt to fine me for improper use of a preposition, allow me to explain.
We're cruising along a twisty two lane road at the posted speed limit, when>>>
Suddenly!His cellphone rings!It's that girl!He forgot!He was waiting for her call!OMG!
And then... he reaches for his phone.
Before I have a chance to advise him AGAINST reaching for it, it is too late. He looks down whilst stuffing his hand into his back pocket, contorting his body at an odd angle as the steering wheel is neglected and the careening vehicle is heading toward the wall of rocks on my side. Reacting to my bloodcurdling screams, he over-corrects, thrusting us into the path of northbound traffic, and he again over-corrects us toward the side of the mountain.
That was the start of our lesson for the day. Being ever so cautious and responsible, I of course allowed him to keep trying. He ran a stop sign. I admonished him for it, but it "was" in a quiet residential area where, luckily, there was no cross traffic. Okay. So then what about the pulling-out-in-front-of-a-speeding-car-without-really-looking? "I looked, I thought his blinker was on". Oh REALLY? Is that why, when I said no, wait... you said "I think I can make it" and burned rubber on the corner?
I allowed him one last trip to the drugstore so I could stock up on aspirin, hair color, and Depends.
His dad is now the official trainer, as I am retiring early.
Soooo... he is now legal to drive with my accompaniment. What the fuck did I agree to?
I've let him drive now and then (off the record) just for practice. And he's done well. His father has taken him out, his uncle and grandpa have let him drive, he's been doing it for years.
Just not in oncoming traffic. Lest the grammar police attempt to fine me for improper use of a preposition, allow me to explain.
We're cruising along a twisty two lane road at the posted speed limit, when>>>
Suddenly!His cellphone rings!It's that girl!He forgot!He was waiting for her call!OMG!
And then... he reaches for his phone.
Before I have a chance to advise him AGAINST reaching for it, it is too late. He looks down whilst stuffing his hand into his back pocket, contorting his body at an odd angle as the steering wheel is neglected and the careening vehicle is heading toward the wall of rocks on my side. Reacting to my bloodcurdling screams, he over-corrects, thrusting us into the path of northbound traffic, and he again over-corrects us toward the side of the mountain.
That was the start of our lesson for the day. Being ever so cautious and responsible, I of course allowed him to keep trying. He ran a stop sign. I admonished him for it, but it "was" in a quiet residential area where, luckily, there was no cross traffic. Okay. So then what about the pulling-out-in-front-of-a-speeding-car-without-really-looking? "I looked, I thought his blinker was on". Oh REALLY? Is that why, when I said no, wait... you said "I think I can make it" and burned rubber on the corner?
I allowed him one last trip to the drugstore so I could stock up on aspirin, hair color, and Depends.
His dad is now the official trainer, as I am retiring early.
posted by Julie at 7:05 PM
4 Comments:
Haha... reminds me of the time my mom tried to teach me to drive, and after my lesson (while she was driving back home) she was pointing out a handy way to judge whether you're spaced properly in your lane (line up the hood ornament with the center line? something like that) and almost hit a car that stopped to turn left in front of us. Shortly after that I recall not going out for drives with her for a while.
I think I can make it?!?! OMG that is too funny!
I've always said that the drinking age should be 16 and the driving age 21, because it gives you a good five years to learn how to handle yourself in a situation that doesn't put others at risk and also know your limits.
(I didn't learn to drive until I was 21.5. By then, I'd already wasted my liver...)
didn't you have a dr. appt Friday??
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