Saturday, September 24, 2005

An open letter to the Universe (not baby related)

Yo, Universe. Up your nose with a rubber hose.
You do realize, of course, that I didn't need further proof that "you are in charge", and "I am a big fat nothing who deserves to be messed with on an almost daily basis". WTF?
Bite me. That is all.

Before ya'll get worried about the little butter bean, we're okay. Thank you for your concern. It is the husband who is not well.
Around mid-day, he called me from his cell phone, complaining of chest pain. My hubby is one who could probably lop off a finger or two and not really gripe too much. After quickly reviewing all the common signs/symptoms and whatnot, I asked him where he was. He was driving, of course! Perhaps you should pull over, honey. I can come and get you. "No, no. Just stay on the phone with me, because I'm scared". Guess what that did to me? Shit. A lot of good it will do either of us to be chatting on the phone while he's driving with excrutiating chest pain that led him to call me in the first place when he needs to get his ass to the hospital and I don't even know where he's at and if he passes out (or has a wreck because he's talking on the cell phone while driving in pain) I won't know what to do and oh my god what should I do...::breathe:: ACK!
And then we lost the signal.
Five minutes is a long damn time when you don't know what's going on.
Long story short, he made it home, I gave him aspirin and made him lay down. Diastolic pressure was a wee bit high, he was sweaty and flushed, had a headache and the chills. And that left arm numbness? Eh... he's had worse. In an ordinary situation, one might consider calling the doc or getting looked at, yes?
No.
H-E-Double-Toothpicks NO.
He went about his business, pausing on occasion to take a breath, clutch his chest, or catch his balance. You know, like we all do, every day. Normal. He would not listen to me and I could not physically get him to the car. Short of calling an ambulance crew equipped with a tranquilizer dart, Big G wasn't goin' NOWHERE, baby. And that's that.
Tried a little "Tough Love". I am, after all, a whopping seven weeks pregnant and tired, so what would I rather be doing? Napping! Booyah! I told him I was done playing these goddamn games, I didn't need the stress, and I was going to go lay down. Call me if you need me, or rather, if you'll actually let me help you, you big baby. Why the hell would you get me all worked up and worried if you're so "fine"? You'd better watch the crying wolf business, because I've had it. Good.Night.
And of course... about an hour later, he's sitting next to me, gasping, looking like hell on wheels, saying maybe I should take him in. You know, just to get checked. Better safe than sorry, and all that horseshit. "But I'm not wearing one of those gowns". Yuppers. Allrightythen.
Oh, but I did say "to make a long story short", didn't I? Huh. Imagine your surprise.
We spent about 3 days in the ER waiting room (after a quick triage, of course, where he denied any problems whatsoever and the nurse looked at me as if I was completely delusional). Finally, we got back to a cubicle and they did all the necessary stuff. Doc says, did you have plans this weekend? Why no, good doctor, what did you have in mind? Observation and tests, my dear patient! Your preliminary EKG looks slightly abnormal, and you just don't look so good. Here are some meds (nitro!), and your room key; we've booked you the private suite on the telemetry unit for the weekend. Here you will enjoy continual monitoring, fresh IV fluids, blood draws every 6 hours (x24h), and an echocardiogram and stress test in the morning. Hope you enjoy your stay. Fresh towels and sponge baths are complimentary. Ta Ta!
I chuckled quietly to myself when the admitting nurse on the floor asked him the routine questions. At 42, he is easily the youngest person there tonight. "Do you use any assistive devices? Do you require a cane, or walker? Do you get meals on wheels or any sort of activity transportation that needs to be notified? Any dentures or hearing aids? List the meds you take on a regular basis. Any dietary restrictions? Do you have a designated POA, living will, or advanced directives? Would you like your clergy person to be notified?"
We spent the evening watching Animal Planet and discussing what he would be getting for breakfast. (Egg Beaters and dry toast with decaf coffee. yummy)
I could have stayed with him, but he insisted I come home to be with The Boy (who, by the way, is also worried, yet sleeping soundly at the moment).
It is going to be a long day tomorrow.
Why is it that any one single day can have such extreme ups and downs? Yes, the baby's heartbeat is good. But the daddy's is not?
Why?

7 Comments:

Blogger Catherine said...

You call me if you need anything. Understand?

Sat Sep 24, 07:37:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Julie said...

Yes ma'am. And thank you.

Sat Sep 24, 08:43:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Lisa Martin said...

alright, that's it! WTF?? Ugh! I can't stand this!
I am so glad baby is ok, though.
Keep us posted as best you can.

Sat Sep 24, 09:46:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Oh Yikes! I hope that everything is okay. :(

Sat Sep 24, 11:44:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Lisa P. said...

Oh man. I'm sorry to hear this, and hope that things are ok.

Sat Sep 24, 04:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Jillian said...

Oh Julie - I hope everything turns out perfectly fine. Thinking of you guys. I hope the breakfast is the worst part of the weekend.

Sat Sep 24, 06:27:00 PM EDT  
Blogger laura said...

oh, how utterly crappy. will be thinking of you.

Sat Sep 24, 08:09:00 PM EDT  

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