Untitled, Take II
I began my last post with detailing just another cruddy day that took me by surprise. And that was that, just the day, just cruddy.
In an attempt to segue from one extreme to the other, I think I may have misguided a dear reader or two. Hell, after I came home tonight and re-read it myself, I was all like, huh? You know what I'm sayin'? Like, what she talkin bout?
So here is some clarification.
Thursday just sucked. Woke up late, got stuck behind a slow truck, answered questions wrong in class, looked like an ass when I dropped my purse in the parking lot. Walked around with a big crusty booger on my upper lip. Spilled coffee on my shirt. That kind of shit. Really had nothing to do with anything, I just like to complain.
On Friday, my boobs hurt.
My boobs hurt quite a bit.
I dealt with it most of the day until I could take it no longer. Hmmmmm, said Futility Friend. You're on CD28. You have no clue as to when your period should really be "due". Our records do not indicate that you have a uterus at this point. Not only have you consistently failed to produce ovulation, we believe that your endometrial shedding over the past several months has obliterated your reproductive organs, and as such, we are unable to offer you hope or condolences, as you are no longer considered a candidate. So quit thinking, you imbecile, and go eat a cookie. Damn, yo.
So, I went to the store for some cookies. And an hpt.
Being that it was late in the evening, and this was the cheapest possible test I could have bought, I of course tested right then! It showed nothing within the first few minutes, so I set it aside and got busy with, you know, my chores. A few hours later, I thought I'd better throw it out, lest the hubster sees it. But, wait, what is this? A faint light purple line? Probably just an evap line. Maybe I'll test again tomorrow.
Saturday morning, G is feeling amorous, and I had to ask him to step away from the boobies. A dim light flickers over my head, but I ignored it. I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid. Well, okay, I am. I run down to the store while he's in the shower. I buy the 'better' test. Test number two is just defiant enough to show a faint "+" within the correct amount of time.
I am thinking at this point, that it would be more likely to get a false negative because of the cheap test, right? I mean, if it measures only 50 or 100, and I'm still really early, it wouldn't be giving me a second line if there wasn't some funky voodoo going on in there, right? A positive, is a positive, is a positive. If I use FMU and/or a better test, maybe the second line will be darker.
So, I shelve the spare test to use with my first morning urine. And I spend the rest of the day in quiet reflection. Oh sure, I may be crumbling with fear on the inside, but I refuse to let it take ahold of me. For now.
I stopped at WalMart after work and bought a twin pack of FREDs.
I will test with the spare cheapie Sunday morning. I will use a FRED on Monday, and again on Tuesday when I call my OB and properly meltdown.
Holy. Shit.
In an attempt to segue from one extreme to the other, I think I may have misguided a dear reader or two. Hell, after I came home tonight and re-read it myself, I was all like, huh? You know what I'm sayin'? Like, what she talkin bout?
So here is some clarification.
Thursday just sucked. Woke up late, got stuck behind a slow truck, answered questions wrong in class, looked like an ass when I dropped my purse in the parking lot. Walked around with a big crusty booger on my upper lip. Spilled coffee on my shirt. That kind of shit. Really had nothing to do with anything, I just like to complain.
On Friday, my boobs hurt.
My boobs hurt quite a bit.
I dealt with it most of the day until I could take it no longer. Hmmmmm, said Futility Friend. You're on CD28. You have no clue as to when your period should really be "due". Our records do not indicate that you have a uterus at this point. Not only have you consistently failed to produce ovulation, we believe that your endometrial shedding over the past several months has obliterated your reproductive organs, and as such, we are unable to offer you hope or condolences, as you are no longer considered a candidate. So quit thinking, you imbecile, and go eat a cookie. Damn, yo.
So, I went to the store for some cookies. And an hpt.
Being that it was late in the evening, and this was the cheapest possible test I could have bought, I of course tested right then! It showed nothing within the first few minutes, so I set it aside and got busy with, you know, my chores. A few hours later, I thought I'd better throw it out, lest the hubster sees it. But, wait, what is this? A faint light purple line? Probably just an evap line. Maybe I'll test again tomorrow.
Saturday morning, G is feeling amorous, and I had to ask him to step away from the boobies. A dim light flickers over my head, but I ignored it. I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid. Well, okay, I am. I run down to the store while he's in the shower. I buy the 'better' test. Test number two is just defiant enough to show a faint "+" within the correct amount of time.
I am thinking at this point, that it would be more likely to get a false negative because of the cheap test, right? I mean, if it measures only 50 or 100, and I'm still really early, it wouldn't be giving me a second line if there wasn't some funky voodoo going on in there, right? A positive, is a positive, is a positive. If I use FMU and/or a better test, maybe the second line will be darker.
So, I shelve the spare test to use with my first morning urine. And I spend the rest of the day in quiet reflection. Oh sure, I may be crumbling with fear on the inside, but I refuse to let it take ahold of me. For now.
I stopped at WalMart after work and bought a twin pack of FREDs.
I will test with the spare cheapie Sunday morning. I will use a FRED on Monday, and again on Tuesday when I call my OB and properly meltdown.
Holy. Shit.
posted by Julie at 1:02 AM
4 Comments:
Funny thing is...I completely understood your first post! lol
lol I totally got the first post too!! Congrats, and hoping those lines keep getting darker!!!
(oh and they have FRED's in *3* packs now!! Just right for obsessing!!)
I love how you can get an HPT called FRED. Like 'Fred says I'm up the duff and he's ALWAYS right". Fred, Fred, Fred, our buddy Fred...
Congrats, congrats, congrats! I admit I had a little help from your post on BC ;-) I can't wait to hear about today's test. You both must be over the moon!
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