Uh...yeah
7 am - driving merrily to school. Note engine is starting to overheat - slightly - as usual.
The little "fixes" the hubster has attempted up to this point are merely buying us some time.
Have to use the defogger because of the, well, um, fog/mist/peasoup, and the fact that the inside of my windows are nearly dripping with condensation.
7:30 am - Engine still not in the red zone. Windows down, towel in hand, compressor off.
7:35 am - "Check Gauges" light comes on. Did that, thanks.
7:40 am - "Check Gauges" light now is flashing. Gotcha.
Making my way to the outside lane nearest the shoulder. You know. Just in case.
7:45 am - "Service Engine Soon" light has now joined the blinking "Check Gauges" light.
I wish that goddamn coal truck would GET THE HELL OFF MY ASS YOU MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT I AM TRYING TO SLOW DOWN OH SHIT DON'T REAR END ME.
7:47 am - Engine making a melodic whirring/knocking kind of rhythmic beat. Am trying to find a place to pull over.
7:49 am - Oh great, a hill. UP hill. With guard rails, and no shoulder. And, look, up ahead, A BRIDGE! Clowns to the left of me, jokers to my right, here I am... stuck in the middle with this GODDAMN COAL TRUCK ON MY ASS.
7:51 am - Chug. Chug clunk choke. Engine dying. But not dead just yet. I keep my blinker on, right right right, right right right, right hey you yeah you lemme over please.
7:53 am - An exit ramp. Thank Joe Pesci, a place to park it. Amazingly, I make it nearly to the top of the ramp, with ample room on both sides of me. I coast to a stop, and flip them all off - the fucking morons.
7:55 am - Call AAA. Please hold. Your call is very important to us. We will be with you shortly.
And they were. Give the nice man on the phone all my information. Receive assurances that a tow truck will be there to assist me within the hour.
9:00 am - Liar liar pants on fire. Tow truck arrives. Tow truck is from a garage about 1/2 mile from my intended destination, a good, maybe, 10 mins up the road. Driver is very kind, however, so I cut him some slack.
9:10 am - Beg kind driver to stop at the nearest gas station so I may use the facilities. I have to piss so bad at this point I can hear sloshing in my ears. He complies.
9:40 am - Arrive at garage. They remember me. They really like me. They love my vehicle. They can usually soak me for all sorts of money. They take such good care of us.
10:30 am - Water pump. I should be glad it's not the head gaskets. Sounds expensive. And it is.
10:31 am - In tears. Hubby is in Virginia, not answering his cell phone. I have to pee.
The rest of the day is slightly less interesting, believe it or not.
Wait for G to call, wait for my ride home, wait for them to fix my car, wait for my ride back...
$437 later, and all is well.
But today, I woke up. It is warm and sunny. I was not killed in an accident. My car was fixable. I have just enough resources (credit!) to get by. I do not live in a box. I have electricity and clean water and I live in a free country. The trees are very beautiful with their red, yellow, and orange foliage. And I have the sight with which to see these colors. Life is good.
The little "fixes" the hubster has attempted up to this point are merely buying us some time.
Have to use the defogger because of the, well, um, fog/mist/peasoup, and the fact that the inside of my windows are nearly dripping with condensation.
7:30 am - Engine still not in the red zone. Windows down, towel in hand, compressor off.
7:35 am - "Check Gauges" light comes on. Did that, thanks.
7:40 am - "Check Gauges" light now is flashing. Gotcha.
Making my way to the outside lane nearest the shoulder. You know. Just in case.
7:45 am - "Service Engine Soon" light has now joined the blinking "Check Gauges" light.
I wish that goddamn coal truck would GET THE HELL OFF MY ASS YOU MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT I AM TRYING TO SLOW DOWN OH SHIT DON'T REAR END ME.
7:47 am - Engine making a melodic whirring/knocking kind of rhythmic beat. Am trying to find a place to pull over.
7:49 am - Oh great, a hill. UP hill. With guard rails, and no shoulder. And, look, up ahead, A BRIDGE! Clowns to the left of me, jokers to my right, here I am... stuck in the middle with this GODDAMN COAL TRUCK ON MY ASS.
7:51 am - Chug. Chug clunk choke. Engine dying. But not dead just yet. I keep my blinker on, right right right, right right right, right hey you yeah you lemme over please.
7:53 am - An exit ramp. Thank Joe Pesci, a place to park it. Amazingly, I make it nearly to the top of the ramp, with ample room on both sides of me. I coast to a stop, and flip them all off - the fucking morons.
7:55 am - Call AAA. Please hold. Your call is very important to us. We will be with you shortly.
And they were. Give the nice man on the phone all my information. Receive assurances that a tow truck will be there to assist me within the hour.
9:00 am - Liar liar pants on fire. Tow truck arrives. Tow truck is from a garage about 1/2 mile from my intended destination, a good, maybe, 10 mins up the road. Driver is very kind, however, so I cut him some slack.
9:10 am - Beg kind driver to stop at the nearest gas station so I may use the facilities. I have to piss so bad at this point I can hear sloshing in my ears. He complies.
9:40 am - Arrive at garage. They remember me. They really like me. They love my vehicle. They can usually soak me for all sorts of money. They take such good care of us.
10:30 am - Water pump. I should be glad it's not the head gaskets. Sounds expensive. And it is.
10:31 am - In tears. Hubby is in Virginia, not answering his cell phone. I have to pee.
The rest of the day is slightly less interesting, believe it or not.
Wait for G to call, wait for my ride home, wait for them to fix my car, wait for my ride back...
$437 later, and all is well.
But today, I woke up. It is warm and sunny. I was not killed in an accident. My car was fixable. I have just enough resources (credit!) to get by. I do not live in a box. I have electricity and clean water and I live in a free country. The trees are very beautiful with their red, yellow, and orange foliage. And I have the sight with which to see these colors. Life is good.
posted by Julie at 2:22 PM
6 Comments:
you must have pregnancy hormones up the ying yang to be so scarily positive right now. are you taking drugs? i mean, good for you for appreciating the good things and all, but you're scaring me. glad you didn't get run over by a coal truck, too.
I understand totally. K's car blew up yesterday but it was fixable plus the list of good things you mentioned.
When you have constant shitty luck, as opposed to bad luck, you learn that 'List of Things to be Grateful For' off by heart!
Here's hoping the shitty luck stops right here.
Maybe it was God's way of giving you some extra time to marvel at the foliage. lol Sorry...I love to say stupid things sometimes. I hope your evening is a bit more relaxing.
It is so nice when you are able to see the bright side when things are falling to pieces! Good for you!
Yikes!! Your life and mine, so much alike!! But then again, I think we call all relate!
You deserve a Nobel Prize in Optimism, lol! Glad that neither the obnoxious coal driver nor the hefty garage bill nor your temporarily over-stimulated bladder weren't enough to keep you down. We should all take a page out of your book and count our blessings. (I know we all must have at least one or two lying around somewhere...)
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