Sunday, March 26, 2006

I can't get no satisfaction

'cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try....
I can't get no.... nuh nuh nuhnuh nuhnuh

What I want now is some ovary action.
Say that to yourself. Slowly. Quickly. Think about it.
Over reaction?
Yeah, that's what I need.

I did some homework. I consulted Dr. Google, that retired butler person, various medical sites and even some scholarly journals (peer-reviewed!). If I can locate at least one decent link to post here, I shall do so post-haste. I regretfully neglected to save anything in my favs.
Dumbass.
The information I have gathered thusfar consists of this:
Sometimes, physicians DO jump right to the Clomid. (unsure why)
I can expect ovulation to occur about 5-8 days after the last pill. (which, if one were taking it on days 5-9 of a typical cycle (which I am not) correlates with potential ovulation around day 14ish)...
{insert laughtrack here}
Some sources cited variations of cd4-8 or 3-7 as clomid-commencement dates.
At any rate, I guess as with standard clomid protocol, I should do the nasty about 3 days after the last pill until we just can't take it anymore.
And then, I'll get my period about 3 weeks after the last pill.
Because it never works.

And yes, I am aware of how crazy all of this seems. I totally agree.
And yes, I am aware of the potential maladjustment syndrome my ovaries will exhibit.
And of course, I will be calling my doctors office with a newfound fervor - probably all week long because we do so enjoy phone tag.
There is no way I will waste money and grief on this 'treatment' until I am damn sure he isn't smoking crack.

AND, in a related story, trout season is approaching. The husband will be home for 3-4 days to partake in the festivities. Merry Fishmas.
Anyone care to guess what other activities I will engage him in? Ahhhh... death-march style sex...
Good times.

Fertility Math:
Start clomid on... April 8
Last dose will be... April 12
Sex... April 15-18
Magic egg will burst forth... April 17-20
Period by... May 3 (joke: or, due early January. HA!)

sigh

5 Comments:

Blogger Kellie said...

Well there ya go... it's a plan!
Merry Fishmas indeed and a Happy Spawning season to you as well.

Mon Mar 27, 10:31:00 AM EST  
Blogger DD said...

Smoking crack? Nah. I'm guessing he's snorting the provera and that's why he's not going with that protocal...he's hoarding his stash.

Maybe there's some sort of Native American correlation between cycling and the spawning season you can get to work in your favor. If not, a little peyote can't hurt.

Mon Mar 27, 11:09:00 AM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going for "due early january".

Mon Mar 27, 03:22:00 PM EST  
Blogger Jillian said...

So did you get onto the dr office? What is the plan?

Tue Mar 28, 03:33:00 AM EST  
Blogger Diana said...

hoping for "due early January". Conceiving around Easter must be a good thing, right? Here's hoping...

Tue Mar 28, 11:15:00 AM EST  

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