The Incredible Exploding Ovary
As I am nearing CD 80, I have called Dr. Wonderful's office to request assistance.
My previous attempt at posting this enlightening story included volumes of information regarding the assholes at his office. I shall now spare you the agony of reliving my frustration.
Suffice it to say that the individual to whom I spoke either:
a) does not comprehend the pathophysiology of polycystic ovaries; or
b) needs to be lashed mercilessly with rusty barbed wire while nude and tied to a red ant hill.
If I'm lucky, I'll get Provera. If I'm lucky AND stupid, I'll be getting the Provera/Clomid combo plate (which has never worked). Since I have a disposable income and loads of time to waste playing silly games, here's one you can join in with me:
Plan My Conception!
The rules are easy. First, you have to operate on the assumption that I can actually get pregnant again, with or without Clomid (which has never worked). Then, you try not to laugh when I playfully attempt to organize my cycle around my husband's weekend(s) home. Finally, once you've overcome the silly notions that 1) I might conceive and 2) I can control when this will occur, then - you're ready for the game set-up.
Take one lucky rabbits foot, place it into vat of holy water, and add eye of newt. Hopping on your left foot, turn around counter-clockwise while humming Inagodadavida in its entirety. Now, stick a fork in the toaster. Let me know how it works.
~~~
In other news...
I'm standing outside the other day, waiting for my left ovary to explode, when this chickypoo I work with saunters up to make small talk:
Sure are a lot of birds out.
Yup.
They sure are fat.
Probably full of eggs.
It's too cold for them to be laying eggs, isn't it?
I don't know.
No, really, I think it's too cold.
It is pretty cold.
I bet they can't lay eggs until it warms up.
Hmmm. I'm sure nature knows what it's doing.
Wonder how long they need to stay in?
I don't know, I was absent on Avian Gestation Day.
I wonder what will happen to them.
Maybe the mother will sit on them to keep them warm... ??
I still think it's too cold.
You're right. It's too cold. So... um... how 'bout that road construction, huh?
Hey look, there's a rabbit.
~~~
I have a new car. The Boy has inherited the POS that has served me for several years. May it rest in peace(s).
~~~
I also have a new computer. I am still trying to install various software, components, and find the "any" key. I have yet to refill my 'favorites' folder, so I'm trying to locate my old haunts.
~~~
Happy Spring!
My previous attempt at posting this enlightening story included volumes of information regarding the assholes at his office. I shall now spare you the agony of reliving my frustration.
Suffice it to say that the individual to whom I spoke either:
a) does not comprehend the pathophysiology of polycystic ovaries; or
b) needs to be lashed mercilessly with rusty barbed wire while nude and tied to a red ant hill.
If I'm lucky, I'll get Provera. If I'm lucky AND stupid, I'll be getting the Provera/Clomid combo plate (which has never worked). Since I have a disposable income and loads of time to waste playing silly games, here's one you can join in with me:
Plan My Conception!
The rules are easy. First, you have to operate on the assumption that I can actually get pregnant again, with or without Clomid (which has never worked). Then, you try not to laugh when I playfully attempt to organize my cycle around my husband's weekend(s) home. Finally, once you've overcome the silly notions that 1) I might conceive and 2) I can control when this will occur, then - you're ready for the game set-up.
Take one lucky rabbits foot, place it into vat of holy water, and add eye of newt. Hopping on your left foot, turn around counter-clockwise while humming Inagodadavida in its entirety. Now, stick a fork in the toaster. Let me know how it works.
~~~
In other news...
I'm standing outside the other day, waiting for my left ovary to explode, when this chickypoo I work with saunters up to make small talk:
Sure are a lot of birds out.
Yup.
They sure are fat.
Probably full of eggs.
It's too cold for them to be laying eggs, isn't it?
I don't know.
No, really, I think it's too cold.
It is pretty cold.
I bet they can't lay eggs until it warms up.
Hmmm. I'm sure nature knows what it's doing.
Wonder how long they need to stay in?
I don't know, I was absent on Avian Gestation Day.
I wonder what will happen to them.
Maybe the mother will sit on them to keep them warm... ??
I still think it's too cold.
You're right. It's too cold. So... um... how 'bout that road construction, huh?
Hey look, there's a rabbit.
~~~
I have a new car. The Boy has inherited the POS that has served me for several years. May it rest in peace(s).
~~~
I also have a new computer. I am still trying to install various software, components, and find the "any" key. I have yet to refill my 'favorites' folder, so I'm trying to locate my old haunts.
~~~
Happy Spring!
posted by Julie at 3:41 PM
4 Comments:
good to hear from you! here's hoping you get that ovary to pop the right egg.
So would one of those cysts possibly contain an egg? And if they all burst, would they make it easier for an egg to get out from behind them?
In any case, haven't you heard? It's too cold for laying eggs anyway:( (Twit!)
I've missed you! Now go lay an egg. :o)
hehehe "may it rest in peace(s)" Good one...good one...
Go lay an egg. I hope I don't scare anyone while I'm hopping on my left foot at the office...
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