Size does matter, and so does placement

You have to face the holes in the right direction.
Lesson learned.
I improvised today.
I had a short shopping list, and trekked off to Hellmart to "grab a few things". On the top of my list was printer paper. Staples was also nearby, so surely I would somehow manage to complete this task. $250 dollars and an overflowing cart later, my heavy trunk and I schlepped home sans paper. And then I went to The Boy's baseball game. Which ran into the early evening. When stores were closing. And I was not going back to 24/7 Hellmart. No way. I'm out of time and money. And I had an important print job I needed for tomorrow's lecture.
Out comes a pack of wide-ruled loose leaf notebook paper I must have been saving for an emergency such as this.
Will it work in the printer? Is it the right weight? Too much dust?
Turns out it does work. Looks like crap, but it is usable. 1/2" too narrow. And the feed is upside down and backwards. But, dammit, I have my notes.
~~~
I was off today, which means errands out the wazoo.
The map of my day: Take a left at Sucks Ass, proceed through WTF was I thinking, and merge with Eh. When you find yourself at the crossroads of Whatever and Homicide, turn around and go back home.
First stop: My regular rest-of-my-body-that-is-not-fucked-up doctor's office. Except this time, I do have a problem; tendonitis of my left elbow - and it.really.hurts. A whole bunch.
Silly me, I assumed a simple cortisone injection could be done in the office. (My previous doctor did them). Nay, nay; I must see a specialist. No xray, no prescription. Ice it. Try a heating pad. Eat Motrin by the handful. Keep wearing the AirCast. Continue what you've been doing to survive, and wait the month or so to get in to the ortho guy. Hence, I wasted a couple of hours for nothing. Nothing but a needless doctor bill. But she's thrilled my Prozac is still working. Ahem. And I've gained a sizeable amount of weight. Ahem.
Next: I stopped in at the eye doctor to choose my new frames, because I'm having my eye exam tomorrow (and won't have time to pick them out then). Note to self: I might be needing bifocals, shhhh, don't tell anyone. After an hour or two of trying on almost every frame they stock, my team of experts and I chose the least-dorky-looking pair.
Then: I dallied my way through the aforementioned store. I concentrated on groceries and household necessities, but had to take a side trip to clothing. It was there I glanced in the mirror. What in the name of all that is holy was I thinking when I chose that particular combination of clothing? Note to self: do not dress in the basement without double-checking your decision.
To top off my morning, I got the opportunity to learn about some neighborhood gossip, courtesy of the crazy bitch that lives next door. Note to self: when exiting the car, run, don't walk, into the house. Stop locking the door. Consider parking a block away and proceed to basement entrance in back. Pretend to be deaf and/or blind.
~~~
And did you know, they make birthday-cake-flavored ice cream? My day wasn't all bad.
~~~
Oh yeah, and I haven't even called Dr. Wonderful's office yet. Yesterday was w-a-y too busy for me to think about my magic eggs, and today, I just wasn't in the mood. Maybe tomorrow. The easter bunny won't be home for a couple of weeks yet anyway, so I can drag this out a while longer. I've been musing, though, about the definition of insanity... doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome...
Yup, I'm so there.