Asshat
Don't say something stupid that you'll soon regret.
This, I promise you.
She asked me about my baby ring and the little heart-shaped charm with the baby feet.
Of course, I launched head-first into my story.
By the time I mentioned "stillbirth", she corrected me with "miscarriage".
I firmly restated that I indeed delivered a stillborn, as he was 35 weeks.
That's not term.
We were going to induce at 37 weeks, he just didn't make it that far. You are aware that the state law recognizes a fetal demise after 20 weeks as a stillbirth, right?
::Blank stare::
Did you name him?
Yes, and we we had a funeral, and he has a grave marker and everything. He was almost 5 pounds. 32 hours of labor. Epidural.
(Meanwhile, I'm wishing I had just sidestepped this conversation in the first place. But, donning my superhero cape, I set out the educate this woman)
Once I came up for air, she asked me the cause of death.
I calmly explained the cord knots.
How is that possible?? (I swear she didn't believe me)
I guess he just wiggled around too much when he was little. And I have shit luck.
No, really, I mean, I didn't think that was physically possible. I was taught that the umbilical cord is like a garden hose turned on; you can't tie a knot in it so tight that the water doesn't continue to flow.
Well, I guess you were taught wrong, because it certainly happened in this case, and to several other women I've come to know in the months since.
Hmmm... well I guess you learn something new every day.
I'll bring you in some pictures as a visual aid.
No, that won't be necessary, I can take your word for it.
Oh, but I insist. Bitch.
This, I promise you.
She asked me about my baby ring and the little heart-shaped charm with the baby feet.
Of course, I launched head-first into my story.
By the time I mentioned "stillbirth", she corrected me with "miscarriage".
I firmly restated that I indeed delivered a stillborn, as he was 35 weeks.
That's not term.
We were going to induce at 37 weeks, he just didn't make it that far. You are aware that the state law recognizes a fetal demise after 20 weeks as a stillbirth, right?
::Blank stare::
Did you name him?
Yes, and we we had a funeral, and he has a grave marker and everything. He was almost 5 pounds. 32 hours of labor. Epidural.
(Meanwhile, I'm wishing I had just sidestepped this conversation in the first place. But, donning my superhero cape, I set out the educate this woman)
Once I came up for air, she asked me the cause of death.
I calmly explained the cord knots.
How is that possible?? (I swear she didn't believe me)
I guess he just wiggled around too much when he was little. And I have shit luck.
No, really, I mean, I didn't think that was physically possible. I was taught that the umbilical cord is like a garden hose turned on; you can't tie a knot in it so tight that the water doesn't continue to flow.
Well, I guess you were taught wrong, because it certainly happened in this case, and to several other women I've come to know in the months since.
Hmmm... well I guess you learn something new every day.
I'll bring you in some pictures as a visual aid.
No, that won't be necessary, I can take your word for it.
Oh, but I insist. Bitch.
posted by Julie at 6:21 AM
9 Comments:
I say you use the superhero cape to strangle her.
But I have anger issues. :o)
Ugggh. And people think *WE* have issues!! It's amazing that this woman can breath on her own what with having such shit for brains and all... You did good, if it were me you'd be getting a phone call right about know asking you to get me out of jail. lol
I. am. speechless.
Tell her she needs to get an asshat in every color so she'll always have one that matches her wardrobe. I have a feeling this won't be the last time she wears one.
Oh, and where *exactly* was she taught such gems of knowledge about umbilical cords, and does this mean that she's a practicing medical provider of some sort? Does this mean that there is a hospital that I should avoid, for future reference?
Wow. Just. Wow.
I am with Catherine. But can *we* help strangle her?
who in the world was this person and how did you encounter her? and how can you avoid ever encountering her again? if not, how about wiping her kind from the face of the earth?
Lisa and Laura - this particular asshat is a registered nurse, but: 1) she's old and has many years of non-OB experience behind her 2) quite possibly her education circa 1950s was substandard and 3)I won't be seeing much of her again. Neither will anyone else, once she becomes acutely ill with mysterious symptoms sometime next week.
Wow. You ARE a superhero. You really are. Although I am sorry she's about to be so ill. Sad really.
Holy christ that is the most insensitive conversation I've ever heard. Can you give her something that involves fecal incontinence, to match the stuff dribbling out of her mouth?
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