Running with Twinkies

Hey! How ya doin?
Not a whole lot going on in my world to blog about this week.
Soper posted this many moons ago, and I just wanted to stress how important relaxing, focused meditation can be.
And Twinkies. Ohm.
Sure, Buddhism teaches an eight-fold path, but we're bitter, so we're only going to follow four.

The Bitter Woman's Guide to Zen

To know nirvana, you must understand these four noble truths:

• Any thing that angers me will incur my wrath
• All suffering is caused by my wrath
• You can avoid my wrath by not being stupid
• You can avoid being stupid by following the four-fold path:

-- Do not say anything to contradict me.

This is called "Right Views"

-- Strive, at all times, not to anger me.

This is called "Right Intentions"

-- Do not say anything that you know, or even suspect, will anger me.

This is called "Right Speech"

--Keep a chocolate bar and a Twinkie for me, on your person, at all times.

This is called "Right Conduct"

You can find the road to nirvana by contemplating the ancient koans, or riddles:

1. What is the sound of my fist slamming against your head?
2. All beings tremble before violence. All fear death. All love life. Knowing this, would a wise man poke a snake?
3. Tabibi once asked Baso, "What is Buddha?" Baso answered, "Fucked if I know. Where's my Twinkie?"
4. Right Views. Right Intentions. Right Speech. Right Conduct. If a student has the patience to wait until the mud clears, the student will not get his ass kicked.

Peace be with you.

A twinkie split.
Bananas are just too healthy
to waste on a bad mood.