TMI
I know too much. I've seen depravity and honor. Senseless loss and inexplicable miracles. Life, death, and everything in between. The dregs of humanity who continue to get chance after chance after worthless chance, and those of strong character who get shit on at every turn. And I don't get it. If an answer were available, it would come with the disclaimer, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you". And I wonder if it would be worth it.
Manuela wrote recently about divine justice. Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron? Even if I haven't personally suffered through the absolute worst life has to offer, I ache along with my friends, from one's unimaginable grief to another's uncertain future. It is shock and awe and fear and release all wrapped into one little beaten down and torn package.
From the calignous (word du jour) viewpoint of CD1, I must proclaim loudly that I.Have.Had.Enough. I'm tired of playing by the rules. Nice guys finish last. Wish all you want, someone is laughing their ass off at you for your impetuous dreams.
I'm sure in a few days all this negativity will be gently washed away and leave me warm and fuzzy thoughts with bunnies and butterflies and a cool gentle breeze of contentment. Hope springs eternal. Bitter waits its turn.
Manuela wrote recently about divine justice. Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron? Even if I haven't personally suffered through the absolute worst life has to offer, I ache along with my friends, from one's unimaginable grief to another's uncertain future. It is shock and awe and fear and release all wrapped into one little beaten down and torn package.
From the calignous (word du jour) viewpoint of CD1, I must proclaim loudly that I.Have.Had.Enough. I'm tired of playing by the rules. Nice guys finish last. Wish all you want, someone is laughing their ass off at you for your impetuous dreams.
I'm sure in a few days all this negativity will be gently washed away and leave me warm and fuzzy thoughts with bunnies and butterflies and a cool gentle breeze of contentment. Hope springs eternal. Bitter waits its turn.
posted by Julie at 5:51 AM
10 Comments:
((((hugs))))
so sorry, julie.
you really have had had enough. Sorry.
I'm sorry.
(((hugs))) right back atcha Julie.
Oh Julie. So very sorry. You deserve better, my friend, so much better ((hugs))
What an unbelievably raw and poignant post.
Siiiggh.
I only wish that you weren't in the position to have to write it.
I hope that the raw emotions of CD1 have subsided a bit. It sucks to have to go through all of this, on top of everything else. (((Big hug)))
Shit. I'm sorry - it just shouldn't be this hard.
Dammit. And dammit about your friend (relative? maybe I didn't read closely enough) who's waiting for news on the 'sinister' mass. Life is so often so incomprehensibly unfair.
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