This Week in Scourge

So much for a "vacation" - I'd have been more relaxed at work.
Day 7 of home improvement hell. I'm telling you, any marriage that can stay strong through this kind of torture can handle anything.
Don't ask me for my opinion if you don't want to hear what I have to say.
If I do not understand something, I will be asking well thought out questions.
I am not your toolbuddy, your apprentice, or an underpaid helper.
Bite me.
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Yesterday I turned 37. No cards, no gifts, no cake. Being insanely sick of sandwiches, we did go out for lunch on the way to Woe's to pick up the shower door. No, of course not the one I wanted. We got the one that fits instead. Seems the manufacturer of the "kit" we ended up with has it so that only one door works with the ensemble. I really don't care anymore. I'd just like to bathe, and soon.
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The Boy has been injured at football camp. More than a sprain, he has torn fibers in a tendon or something. Swollen, black and blue, and no weight bearing. He feels like a sissy on the crutches, says he. What a pisser. I can't even baby him like I want, because of this bloody hell of a bathroom situation. And of course he's too much of man lately to tolerate my doting anyway.
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The last time we undertook such massive renovations was when we were expecting Nicholas. What a waste of time and energy that was. The room that has remained closed-off for 18 months is needed, temporarily, to house the cabinets and various other items while we put in the new floor. And as such, I had to enter Nick's room, and pile the baby furniture and bags of clothes and crib sheets and other (no longer) essentials against a wall to make space.
I had a bit of a meltdown. This so fucking sucks on so many levels. What in the hell did I ever do to deserve this? All these assholes out there having babies they don't even want. Why them? Why not me? I'm not worth it?
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When we sort-of fixed the bathroom last time, I opted to remove the tub door and use a curtain. My reasoning was, being barely pregnant with Nick's predecessor (which I swiftly miscarried), I knew I would rather not lean over the tracks to be bathing a baby in the tub. This time, we went all out and got a fancy-dancy shower - no tub - 60", with seats. Little less worried about the whole having to bathe a baby issue these days. We'll have vinyl flooring instead of carpet, and if it were up to me, he'd install a urinal on the wall because my guys have a bit of an aiming issue.
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I actually know a woman who did just that. She has five sons. Six guys, three bathrooms, one with a urinal. She even has her very own private space with a whirlpool. And I'm betting a pretty good stash of excedrin.
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I have a doctor's appointment of Monday. Just my regular doctor, not the gyne. I'll mention that I'm on CD48, but I doubt she'll do much about it. I'll have to see Dr. Wonderful and go back in the stirrups for a tune-up. This particular appointment has been scheduled for months. I have been weaning myself off the prozac (in hindsight, probably not such a grand idea, but at the time, things were just peachy). I really don't want to start back up on that again. The best results I've ever had on anti-d meds was paxil (several years ago). For some reason, neither my family doc nor my gyne seem to want me on it again. Beside working wonders for the big d, it helps with anxiety. And that is the main reason for this checkup. Ever since my hemorrhage and subsequent blood transfusion in December, I've been having these little niggling palpitations. While I was still in the hospital, imbibing the fourth unit of O+, shaken not stirred, I complained of sternal pain and dyspnea. The EKG was normal, and the cardiac enzymes looked fine. Well, guess what, it still continues on occasion. Not when I'm upset, nor when exercising. No. It will wake me up in the middle of the night, or overtake me when driving along in solitude. I can't trace it to any particular stressor. It feels like the onset of a panic attack, but never comes to fruition. While not completely debilitating, it is pretty fucking annoying.
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I guess that's really all I have to say for now. I needed a break and had to get some things off my chest. I feel oh so refreshed.
Have a great weekend!