ch-ch-ch-changes

At the tail end of my vacation next week, I have scheduled an interview with a potential employer.
What am I, nuts?
My husband is pushing me to start the ball rolling to move down there, but The Boy thinks we (meaning he and I) should stay up here. He misses his friends. I miss my husband. This situation is starting to suck.
At the onset of my search, I was nearly giddy with excitement. I was positive. I was hopeful.
As the day draws near, um, maybe not so much.
What is it about change that is so... confusing?
For someone who insists that she likes to be in control, I have a giant lump in my throat thinking about taking this step. A new job is one thing, but moving? Leaving the comfort of what I already have? A year ago I was ready to pull up anchor and take off to god-knows-anywhere-else, to hell with responsibility and familiarity.
Now my feet are weighted down and I secretly hope that I don't have to make the decision.
Maybe the decision will be made for me.
Maybe I'll be turned down. Or, if accepted, some magical omen will guide me to the right choice. Or, better yet, I will have a cut-and-dry "have to" that leaves no option available.
The salary won't be enough.
We can't find affordable housing.
What if... a family member in either location becomes completely dependent on me/us, necessitating an immediate decision.
Or, I get the distinct feeling at my current job that this is the end of the line, and I have to go.
What if... the offer from the new place will be too incredible to pass up.
Or, the counter offer from my current place will be too incredible to pass up.
I dreamt our big dog died, thus freeing us to chose apartment living over a home with a big yard. I cried.
Why does something drastic have to occur for me to make a choice? The choice has to be made FOR me, thus eliminating guilt over it being the wrong choice.
I'm stressing out far to much over a simple meeting. I don't have to decide today, tomorrow, or even the next year. Do I? Maybe I do. Can I just go along with the flow and see where it takes me? It's got me this far in life.
If I have a lousy day at work, I want to go.
If I have a good day at work, I want to stay.
Am I fickle?
I've already started a mental list of pros and cons, based on the unreality that I'd even be considered a candidate for NewJob.
We've conducted a little phone-interview wherein both parties assessed the compatibility of what we each need and want. It sounds like a good complement. She said she is looking forward to meeting with me. I plan to confirm our appointment a couple of days before we are to meet. I was instructed to submit my application and resume via the web format they require. I didn't hear back. This is fine, of course, because we already have the interview scheduled, but... but. but. but. What if now that they have it all down in black and white they have decided that I'm not a good match? Am I wasting time? Should I have received at least a confirmation email that the items were received, and will be reviewed, and I'm still on their list of hopefuls? Will I ruin my entire vacation because of doubt and worry?
NO! I won't allow that to happen. If the husband brings it up, I will change the subject. I will not think about it. Even though we are cutting our beach stay short by two whole days just to attend this interview, I will not be distracted or feel any remorse. Well, maybe just a little. Already I'm questioning if it's worth it. I deserve this damn vacation, and why should I cut it short for anyone, especially a potential nothing that will be a waste of time and energy?
Blaahhhhrgh!
Man, I need to get away. From myself.